Little Red Corvette: Part 1 of Lights and Sounds
by stripedheart
Summary: I guess I should have known by the way you parked your car sideways that it wouldn't last. See you're the kind of girl- believes in making out once, love 'em and leave 'em fast.
1. back in black

_Summary: Alex is an old girlfriend of Ryan's who's just moved to Newport, and Marissa is Ryan's current girlfriend. Sandy, Ryan, and Seth leave for a business convention, leaving Alex and Marissa alone. Bad idea. Sparks fly, but when the guys return things get nasty._

**first off, if you're reading my other.. four(!) stories, please don't freak out. this one is already finished. im just posting it cuz i liked it.**

**i wrote this story like two or three years ago. it was my first malex fic ever. its split into three parts and i'm just gonna post all the chapters for prt. one now. i can't tell anymore if it sucks or not, because i've basically been writing it forever. all the chap titles are songs. awesome songs. enjoy!**

**i loove reviews**

**CHAPTER ONE: back in black**

summer

Alex leaned back in her bus seat, flipping through an ancient issue of Rolling Stone. She had her feet propped up on the seat in front of her, an old habit. _These rides take forever _She thought as she looked out the window, watching the tourist beaches of Newport fly by. She glanced over at the middle-aged, fat guy who had plopped himself down next to her and winked. Yeah, actually winked. _You don't get much cheesier than that. _Alex thought, while the guy snored loudly. She sighed and stuffed the magazine into her old, beat-up bookbag as the bus slowed to a stop. Alex stepped over fat dude and into the walkway.

Ryan stood with his arm around his current girlfriend, Marissa, as he waited for his ex-girlfriend, Alex, to get off the bus. She was going to stay with an old mutual friend of theirs, Alyssa, until Alex's dad got back out of jail and could get her a place to stay. She was only twenty after all. Ryan could tell that Marissa was worried about his old girlfriend coming, but he and Alex were honestly only good friends now_. Besides, she's moved onto to girls now. _He thought and smiled, thinking about how straightforward Alex had been when she'd told him.

_"Well, I'm just not really into you anymore." Alex said._

_"Then who are you into?" Ryan asked, frustrated._

_"Girls." Alex had answered, smirking. _

Ryan could still remember how shocked he had been when Alex had revealed that she was bisexual. Well, shocked and turned on. Marissa looked up at him.

"What are you grinning at?" She asked, smiling at the goofy grin on his face.

"Just remembering how hot Alex is." Ryan said, only half-joking. Marissa stopped smiling and frowned.

"You better not be serious." She said. Ryan was about to answer her when someone called his name.

"Atwood!" Alex called. "Hey Atwood!" She shifted her bookbag on one shoulder and walked over to him. Ryan watched her walk. She was wearing classic Alex clothes. A short black and white plaid skirt and a black wife-beater, with a bright yellow hoodie thrown on top of it. Classic vans, random jelwrey, and that purple streak. It kind of didn't match, but it kind of did, and it looked hot as hell. Ryan grinned at her and they hugged fiercely.

"Long time, no see." Alex said into Ryan's shoulder. Marissa watched the two embrace, more jealous of Ryan than Alex. _Ryan was actually right for once. _Marissa mused._ She is hot._ Marissa watched the other girl intensely, butterflies swarming in her belly. She was nervous about someone she had never even met, barely even heard about. What the hell? As if she was reading her thoughts, Alex turned to Marissa and grinned.

Alex's smile faltered for a half-second when she actually studied the girl standing next to Ryan. She had long, light brown hair and gorgeous green eyes, not to mention an perfect body. Alex's stomach did belly-flops, but she quickly recovered.

"Who's she?" She asked, glancing Ryan, her eyebrows raised causally. "Do you have a girlfriend that you didn't tell me about?" Alex stared openly at the other girl, while Ryan scratched the back of his head nervously, and Marissa glared at him.

"Uh, actually. . ." Ryan said to Alex, then turned to Marissa. "I thought I told her." He tried to explain. Alex shook her head, fake disappointed, while Marissa glared at Ryan.

"And here I was, hoping we could rekindle our old relationship." Alex fake sighed. She grinned good naturally.

"As if." Ryan said, more to Marissa than Alex. Alex just smirked.

"C'mon." She said, nodding her head toward the parking lot. "Let's go." She lead the way.

A half-hour later they finally found Alyssa's apartment. It was "hidden", according to Ryan, behind some palm trees. He had somehow managed to get them lost three times during the should-have-been ten minute drive. Alex finally took over.

"Yeah, it sure was hidden." Alex said, winking at Marissa, as she pulled into the driveway. Marissa flashed a smile, trying to ignore the tingling feeling she got when Alex looked at her. Ryan sighed, in a manly way of course, and jumped out of the passenger's side of his car. He helped Marissa out, but ignored Alex. Alex mimicked Ryan's sigh and got out herself. Marissa couldn't help but smile at the two.

They walked up the front steps to the wide open door of Alyssa's apartment. Alyssa came out, holding hands with a girl who was apparently her girlfriend.

"Hey." Alex said, hugging Alyssa, but looking at Alyssa's girlfriend. "Does everyone have girlfriends that I don't know about?" She asked.

"Yeah." Ryan said. "Except apparently you."

"Hey." Alex returned. "I could have a girlfriend I don't know about." Ryan shook his head and followed Alyssa into the house. Alyssa's girlfriend smiled at Alex.

"I'm Kate." She said, picking up Alex's one suitcase. Alex returned the smile.

"Alex." Alex said, "Thanks for letting me crash here."

"No problem." Kate said and turned to follow Alyssa into the house. Alex turned to Marissa. The other girl met her eyes and Alex felt a need to fill the silence. "All this lesbian stuff must be freaking you out." She commented easily as Ryan came back outside.

"Well, actually I'm bi so, no, not really." Marissa shrugged. Alex turned to Ryan, trying to hide that she was happy Marissa was into girls. Not that she had anything to be happy about or anything. Atwood's girlfriend, remember?

"Atwood! Don't tell me you have a bi girlfriend that I didn't know about!" She said, pretending to be completley shocked. Ryan just shrugged.

"I hadn't seen you in a while, and…" He trailed off, trying to come up with an excuse.

"Well, now you get to see me all the time." Alex grinned cheekily, then walked inside.

"Yeah." Ryan said. "And I'm so thrilled about that." He followed her inside, Marissa trailing behind, smiling.


	2. bad reputation

**CHAPTER TWO: bad reputation**

Marissa sat on Summer's bed, painting her toenails and talking about random stuff . It was like ten o'clock and they were in their pajamas, completely ready for a girl's night in.

"So." Summer said, crossing her ankles and flipping through a magazine. "I heard about Ryan's old girlfriend coming to Newport."

"Oh, yeah." Marissa shrugged, looking up from her nails. " We drove her to her apartment today."

"So you're not worried about her or anything?" Summer asked, creasing her eyebrows.

"Not really." Marissa answered, shrugging. "She and Ryan seem to be over each other."

"Seem to?"

"Well, yeah. Besides, she's kinda into girls now." Marissa said, smirking.

"Well than, maybe you should be worried Coop." Summer joked. Marissa grinned.

"She's not like that. And besides, she wouldn't do anything to hurt Ryan." Marissa explained.

"And hurting him includes stealing his girlfriend?" Summer asked.

"I hope so." Marissa raised her eyebrows and went back to painting her toenails.

I0I0I

Ryan sat on the floor in his room, kicking Seth's ass on a video game. Seth sighed and pushed the pause button.

"Alright give it up." Seth said. " You only play this well when your worried about something."

"I don't know what you're talking about." Ryan said as he un-paused the game. Seth leaned over and turned off the game.

"Uh-huh." Seth said, and motioned toward himself. "Give it up to big brother Sethy." Ryan gave Seth a look and sighed.

"Alright." He said. "So my ex, Alex, is in town for a while and I know that she's gonna cause some kind of trouble." Seth frowned.

"How? You dated her, so she can't be that bad." Seth reasoned. Ryan looked at him, disbelieving.

"Have you met any of the other girls I've dated?" Seth shrugged.

"Um, no, but I mean. . ." Just then Alex walked into the pool house.

"Where's the bathroom in this place?" She asked sarcastically.

"Turn around, go inside and turn right." Seth answered than turned back to Ryan, who was getting up.

"Hey." Ryan said. "What's up Alex?"

"That's Alex?" Seth asked, turning to look at Alex again. "I thought she was another one of those strippers my dad was defending for free."

"Uh, thanks.. I think." Alex said staring at Seth and crinkling her eyebrows. She looked at Ryan. "I'm guessing that that's Seth." She said.

"Yeah. That's Seth." Ryan said. "So, what do you need?"

"Where's the best bar around here?" Alex asked, folding her arms and looking around the pool house." I wanna get laid." She raised her eyebrow and looked straight at Ryan.

"I can help you with that." Seth said, holding up his hand and standing up. Alex just looked at him. Ryan turned to Seth.

"Seth." Ryan warned. "You have a girlfriend."

"Summer, right." Seth sat back down. Ryan turned back to Alex.

"Get on Airport and turn right, you can't miss it." Ryan answered.

"Alright, thanks." Alex said, turning to go, she waved and called over her shoulder. "Nice meeting you Seth." Seth looked at Ryan.

"You're right, she could definitely cause some problems." He said.


	3. come as you are

**CHAPTER THREE: come as you are**

The next morning Alex woke up to find the girl she had spent last night with pulling on her clothes by the side of the bed. Alex squinted a bit, the sun from the window temporarily blinding her.

"Hey." Alex said rolling over the bed, and pulling up the sheets.

"Hey yourself." The girl said and Alex realized that she didn't even know the girl's name. And also that she looked a hell of a lot like Ryan's girlfriend, Marissa. "It's Zoë." The girl said, as if she was reading Alex's mind.

"Yeah." Alex said. "Alex."

"I hope your not going to ask me to stay for breakfast or something." The other girl said warily.

"Nah." Alex said, then realized what she had just said. "No offense or anything." She added.

"None taken." Zoë answered, then grabbed her belt off the bed. "Well, see you." She said, a little

awkwardly.

"Yeah." Alex echoed. "See you." Zoë walked out the door as Alyssa walked in.

"Good morning." Alyssa said, yawning.

"Are you just getting home?" Alex asked, a little surprised.

"Yeah." Alyssa answered. "Me and Kate leave around nine and don't get back till seven, so, you know, you don't have to worry about your one night stands or anything." Alyssa said, glancing back at the girl walking down the hall.

"I won't." Alex said, then looked down at the sheet she was wearing and back up at Alyssa, who had caught the cue and was walking out the door.

"Breakfast's in the kitchen if you want to get up." Alyssa called over her shoulder. Alex pulled the sheet around her and got up to close the door.

I0I0I

Marissa yawned and rolled out of bed. She glanced at the clock by the bed. _Seven-thirty. _She thought. _God, it's early. _She glanced over at Summer who was sleeping soundly. Marissa knew now that she was awake, she would never go back to sleep. Plus, she couldn't seem to get a certain blonde-haired, blue-eyed girl off her mind. She slowly got up and pulled on a jacket. Ten minutes later she was at the Cohens. She snuck around the back and pulled open the door to the pool house quietly. Ryan was still in his bed sleeping. Marissa put her jacket on a chair and crawled into bed with him. She closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep.

When Ryan woke up, Marissa was lying next him, fast asleep. He smiled softly then looked at the clock next to his bed. It read nine o'clock. _Shit. _He thought, _I've got to go to work._ He yawned a little and sat up, then glanced over at his girlfriend sleeping soundly. He got out of bed and pulled on some jeans and a shirt.

When Marissa woke up she reached for Ryan, but her hand only felt a piece of paper. She rubbed her eyes and picked it up.

_Hey babe, gotta go to work, see you at lunch_

_Love Ryan_

Marissa pushed the covers off and got out of bed. She pulled on her jacket and walked out the door, only to find Summer sneaking out Seth's window.

"I think I've got it easier than you." Marissa stage-whispered to Summer, and quietly closed the door.

"Yeah, you do." Summer answered, almost falling off the roof.

"When'd you get here?"

"Eight. You?"

"Seven-thirty."

"You always were an over achiever." Summer said as she dropped to the ground.

"You know me." Marissa answered. The two girls walked together to the front.

I0I0I

Ryan hauled a huge pile of papers to the file room. He dropped them heavily at the feet of an intern and turned to go get more.

"There's more!?" The intern squeaked.

"Tons." Ryan answered, and walked out into the hallway.

"Terrorizing the interns again Ryan?" Sandy stepped in front of Ryan." I thought we talked about this." Ryan smiled.

"We did. Only terrorize the ones with braces, I know, I know." Sandy smiled back.

"Alright then." Sandy said. "I've got a proposition for you." Ryan raised his eyebrows. "I want you and Seth to go with me to a business convention in New York this weekend."

"Really?" Ryan asked surprised.

"Yeah." Sandy said. "Matt couldn't go, and I need someone besides an intern. Preferably two someones."

"Alright, I'll talk to Seth." Ryan said, pulling out his cell phone.

"Do that." Sandy said, walking away. He stopped. "Oh, yeah, and tell Seth that there's a comic book convention there the same week." Both Sandy and Ryan grinned.

"Alright." Ryan said, punching in Seth's number.

I0I0I0

Alex leaned back on her towel, soaking up the gorgeous California sun. She leaned up on her elbows and reached over to pick up her coke and rum. She took a long sip, put it back, and then laid down. She had only laid there for a few minutes when something or someone blocked her sun.

"Watcha doing." Came a deep, cocky voice. Alcohol-smelling breath washed over her face.

"Telling you to fuck off." Alex replied calmly, without opening her eyes.

"Ooo, feisty." The voice said. Alex opened her eyes and saw an extremely fine guy leaning over her. _Too bad he's a dick. _Alex thought.

"Go away." She sighed, not wanting him to ruin her beautiful day.

"Only if I'm going with you." The guy grinned, reaching out to touch her. Alex smiled back, then picked up her shoe and hit him in the balls with it. He fell to the ground holding himself.

"Water helps." Alex lied and the guy limped off to the ocean. Alyssa and Kate walked over and grinned at Alex.

"We were coming to help." Kate said, looking over at cocky guy. " But you seem to have it handled."

"I do." Alex said, lying back down. She smiled. "Thanks though." She closed her eyes again.

I0I0I0

Marissa closed her cell phone after talking to Ryan. Apparently he was going to New York for the weekend, leaving that afternoon, and wanted her to keep an eye out for (or on) Alex. Marissa picked up the paintbrush she had been painting with, until Ryan had called, but couldn't find the want to paint again. Talking to Ryan always did that. Marissa remembered the day after she had met Alex, when she had finished three of her paintings in one day.

No one knew that Marissa painted, mainly because she only painted in a small cove right by the water. She snuck away every other day for an hour or so. Just picturing Alex's face gave Marissa a spurt of inspiration and she brushed a few strokes on the painting she had been working on. It was of a gorgeous day on a California beach, with a few hotels in the background. It was kind of a paint-by-numbers piece, but it was gorgeous. Marissa pulled out her sketch pad and a piece of charcoal and sketched Alex's face for the tenth time that hour. She couldn't seem to get Alex off her mind.

I0I0I0

Ryan stuffed clothes into a duffel bag. A few jeans, t-shirts, jackets, wife-beaters. He grabbed his tux and two suits and threw them on the bed.

"My boy never did care for suits." Alex said leaning in the door way.

"Hey Alex." Ryan said, going into his bathroom for a brush and a toothbrush.

"Where are you going?" Alex asked, sitting on is bed and taking out all of his clothes, carefully refolding them. Ryan stood for a moment, remembering how neat Alex always was with all of his stuff and how messy she was with hers.

"So?" Alex asked again. "Where're you going?"

"Business convention." Ryan answered, coming out of his daze. He threw his toothbrush and brush on his made up bed. _Marissa._ Ryan thought. She always did stuff like that. Alex put his clothes in his duffel and threw it at Ryan.

"What's the hurry?" She asked, carefully picking up his suits and laying them on the bed.

"We're leaving in-" He glanced down at his watch, it read 6:15." Shit. Half an hour." He picked up his suits and kissed Alex on the top of her head. Ryan walked to the door and looked back at Alex who was smiling at him.

"What?" He asked, stopping. She just smiled at him.

"You grew up." She said simply, shrugging. He smiled a back at her.

"Just a little." He replied. He walked out the door. "Wait." He said and turned around. "Tell Marissa I'll be back on Sunday at one."

"Oh, you had to ruin the moment." Alex said, throwing her hands up. Ryan grinned and walked off, leaving Alex sitting on the bed, thinking. She had tried to ignore the way her heart jumped when Ryan had said Marissa, but her mind woulnd't let her stay off the topic. _Shit, I have a crush on Ryan's girlfriend. _She thought, _Big no-no. And I'm not allowed to do anything about it cuz she's his. Goddamnit._ She sighed and fell back on the bed.


	4. cheating on you

**CHAPTER FOUR: cheating on you**

Marissa put her keys in the ignition and sped out of the driveway. She had snuck into her (Summer's) house, covered in paint about an hour ago, at 5:30, and she was finally leaving an hour later. Marissa was supposed to be getting ready for a party with Summer at seven, but she wanted to go see Alex first. Why she wanted to she couldn't tell you. Marissa turned left off her street, going toward Alex and Alyssa's, and Kate's, apartment. Ten or so minutes later she pulled up next to it. The door was open so she walked in.

"Alex." She called, looking around. "Hey Alex!"

"Hold up!" Marissa heard a voice call. She walked over to the main room and sat down on a beat-up old sofa. Just being in the same house as Alex as giving her chills, but you know, the good kind of chills. A few minutes later Alex walked into the room, wearing pair of ripped jeans, a Franz Ferdinand shirt, and a pen stuck behind her ear.

"Hey." Alex said, brightening up when she saw that it was actually Marissa sitting on her couch, "What's up?" Marissa shrugged, managing to look relaxed, even though she was fairly sure that she had accidentally eaten a herd of live elephants and they were now having a frat party in her stomach.

"Ryan told me that I was supposed to 'look out' for you, so… if you need anything, just call me." Marissa explained. Alex flopped down on an overstuffed arm chair.

"Same to you." She said. "Oh, and Ryan said he'll be back Sunday at one." They sat there for a bit, both a little uncomfortable and awkward.

"So." Marissa said. "You and Ryan used to date."

"Yeah." Alex answered. "For a few months and all."

"Months?" Marissa asked, surprised. "As in four weeks?"

"Actually, like, um. . " Alex did some figures in her head, "Around 24 weeks."

"Six months!" Marissa was shocked. "He said you dated for, like, a few weeks." Alex laughed.

"That's Ryan for you." Alex said smiling. "Always trying to protect his girlfriend." She and Marissa both shook their heads. Marissa frowned a little.

"Yeah, it gets kind of old after a while." Marissa said, trying to smile.

"Yeah, but you love him, so…" Alex finished for her. Marissa nodded.

"You get it." She said. "Summer just thinks it's sweet. It drives me crazy." She noticed something on the coffee table and quickly changed the subject. "Well, that's, uh, interesting." Marissa tried not to laugh, but failed miserably.

"Yeah." Alex rolled her eyes and grinned at the sound of the other girl's laughter. "Kate's an 'artist'." Alex said with sarcasm, gesturing at the painted sticks in a shot glass that sat on the table. Marissa sat back on the couch, but squealed suddenly and shot up.

"Something bit me!" She said, putting her hand on the small of her back. and practically dancing around the room. Alex started laughing, but stopped when Marissa glared at her. Alex smiled apologetically and crawled over to the sofa to find whatever had 'bit' Marissa. Marissa hung over Alex's shoulder, watching carefully. Alex was having some trouble concentrating with Marissa standing so close. She could feel the brunette's breath in her ear. Alex stopped crawling and sat up a little, unconsciously trying to get closer to Marissa. Marissa leaned close to Alex, inhaling her scent, her lips a centimeter from the blonde's neck.. There was a freckle right behind her ear. She was barely resisting the urge to kiss the older girl right . . .on. . . that. . . freckle. Marissa slowly leaned closer. _What the HELL? _She thought, quickly pulling away, her heart racing. Alex took a breath as she felt, more than saw Marissa pull away.

"So." Alex said, her voice a little rough. "Let's find that, uh, biting, animal, thing." Alex finished awkwardly. They both moved toward the couch, both on their knees, but this time Marissa kept her distance from the blonde girl. Alex stuck her hand into the seat cushion and pulled out …a…. needle? "Oh, yeah." Alex laughed. "Did I mention that Alyssa was a fashion designer?"

"No!" Marissa said, only half-angry. "You left out that tiny detail." Alex started laughing and Marissa tried to hit her. Alex caught the younger girl's hand and they both stared at each other for a second, blue eyes locked with green. Marissa's hand was burning where Alex was grasping it. Her fingers were soft, her thumb pressing into Marissa's palm. Marissa watched the older girl's eyes flick to her lips and found her eyes on Alex's lips. They both slowly leaned forward. Marissa stopped only centimeters away from Alex's lips. The older girl's eyes were open and Marissa looked into a pair of clear blue eyes that watched her cautiously.

Then Marissa impulsively leaned forward, touching Alex's lips with her own. They stayed that way for a millisecond. Then, Alex moved her lips on Marissa's and brought her other hand up to the brunette's cheek. Alex's body tingled, from the tip of her head, to her toes. Marissa ran her fingers through Alex's hair and returned the kiss, just as fiercely. Marissa was glowing and she grinned into the kiss. Alex smiled back, both of them completely forgetting the world around them. They continued the kiss, kneeling on the carpet, bringing their bodies closer and closer.

"Honey, I'm home!!" Alyssa called as she walked into the room backwards, carrying groceries. Marissa and Alex jumped away from each other faster than you could say "cheater". Alex ran her fingers through her now loose hair and tried not to look at Marissa.

"Hey Lyssa." Alex said huskily, then coughed and talked normally. "Kate's out on the beach."

"Okay." Alyssa said, setting down the bags and looking at the two girls kneeling on the floor suspiciously. "Hey Marissa."

"Hey." Marissa replied, then glanced over at Alex. "So, I'll see you later." Marissa said, walking out. After she'd left Alex walked over to help Alyssa unpack the food.

"What was that all about?" Alyssa asked, nodding her head toward the door that Marissa had just walked out of.

"Just awkward, you know." Alex lied. "With the whole Ryan thing."

"Oh." Alyssa nodded, seeming to buy that excuse. "By the way, are you going to that party tonight?" Alyssa asked, putting some milk in the fridge. "Shit, I forgot the eggs." Alyssa groaned.

"Yeah, I'm going to go." Alex said. "And I'll pick up some eggs later."

"Alright." Alyssa said. "I'm gonna go find Kate." Alex nodded as Alyssa walked out the door. A couple minutes after Alyssa had walked out the door Alex fell onto the couch.

"SHIT!!!!" She yelled as loud as she could.

Marissa jumped into her car and flew out of the neighborhood. '_Shit.'_ She thought_. 'What the fuck am I doing?'_ She hit the wheel angrily and sped onto the main road. She glanced at the clock. 6:55. Marissa hit the wheel again. She was gonna be late. She swerved into another lane and streaked down the road.


	5. best of you

**CHAPTER FIVE: best of you**

Marissa threw open Summer's front door, but then composed herself and walked in calmly.

"Hey Sum!" She yelled, walking up the stairs to her room. She opened the door to find some guy and Summer making out on the bed. Marissa walked in.

"Okay." She said, "I'm definitley sleeping on the couch tonight." Summer and the guy jumped away from each other nervously and Marissa smiled.

"Thought I was your dad?" She teased. The guy got off the bed and kissed Summer one last time.

"I'll call you later." He promised. After he'd left Marissa raised her eyebrows.

"Who was that?" She asked. "Cuz last time I checked your boyfriend was a brunette, not blonde." Summer smiled guiltily.

"Well." she said. "I was a bored, so, I called Aaron ov--- "

"Oh, so cheater-boy has a name." Marissa said.

"Are you gonna call him that?" Summer pleaded. "Cuz I might break up with Seth and that'd be weird."

"Maybe, and break up with Seth?" Marissa was understandably shocked. "But I thought you loved him."

"Oh, I do, I just get really bored with him and I…" Summer trailed off, trying to explain.

"I get it." Marissa said and leaned over to hug Summer. "It's gonna be okay." Then Marissa leaned back and looked at Summer. They both grinned. "But right now we have to go to a party." They both got up and opened up the closet.

IOIOI

Alex opened up her closet and pulled out a ripped jean skirt. She put it on and reached back in for a top. She pulled out a black tank top that read SUPPORT RANDOM NUDITY and pulled it on too. She leaned over to look at herself in the mirror. Alex put on some makeup and ran her fingers through her loose hair. She could still remember how Marissa's hands had felt in her hair. She closed her eyes for a second, remembering. Then Kate burst in, completley ruining the moment.

"Let's go." Kate said grabbing Alex's hand and pulling her out the door. Alex stumbled a little, but made it outside without injury. Alyssa and Kate hopped into their silver Mustang, while Alex pulled out the keys to her Jeep.

"I'll see you there." Alex called as she pulled off the curb.

A few minutes later they all arrived at a huge frat party. One that they hadn't technically been invited to. It was only ten o'clock, but already guys were stumbling out the door and throwing up, only to run back in a minute later for another drink. _Can't hold their liquor. _Alex thought to herself, as she, Alyssa, and Kate walked up the front steps of some rich newspie's house.

"We're gonna go dance." Alyssa called to Alex as she was pulled toward the living room by Kate.

"Alright." Alex called back. "See you later." Music started blaring from two more speakers a few feet from Alex and she made her way toward a keg.

IOIOIO

Marissa grabbed another diet coke and smelled it to make sure nobody had spiked it. This one definitely had something a little stronger than caffeine in it and she discreetly switched it for another. Right after she took a long sip of it, an old friend of hers, Jake Rivers, walked up and asked her to dance.

"Sure." She grinned, and took his hand, trying to get her mind off Alex. She danced with him for a few minutes and then turned to leave.

"Hey." Jake said slightly slurring his words. "I've got something to show you." Marissa rolled her eyes.

"As if I'm falling for that one." She said, laughing at how drunk Jake was. She tried to walk away, but Jake grabbed her arm. He was surprisingly strong, considering his druken state.

"C'mon." He said, pulling her toward the stairs. Marissa tried to pull away, but he was too strong. She looked around frantically for Summer, but then remembered she had seen her head upstairs with Aaron earlier. They weren't coming down anytime soon. Jake yanked her up the first few steps, but had to drag her up the last few. "Thank god sey don't have a lot of slepps." Jake slurred as he pulled her up the landing toward a bedroom. Marissa felt tears coming on, but she pushed them away, focusing on getting away from Jake.

"Alright, sweetheart." She said sexily. "Let's get a room for ourselves." Jake grinned and drunkenly fell for it. The second he let go of her she ran for it, but somehow he caught her again.

"Ha, ha, I almost fell for that." Jake yelled more than laughed. He shoved her into the room and Marissa let the tears fall. He threw her down on the bed. She quickly rolled off and tried to grab the lamp by the bed. She missed and hit the ground hard. He tried to kick her, but missed. The lamp fell and broke, cutting Marissa on her arm. She screamed and then grabbed the rest of the lamp, throwing it at Jake's head. It hit him full on and he hit the ground, out cold.

Marissa huddled on the ground for a second, waiting for him to get back up. When he didn't she lay on the ground, finally acknowledging the pain in her arm. After a few minutes she got up and went out of the room. She crept down the stairs, hiding her hurt arm, and managed to make it out the back door. She walked out the side yard and onto the sidewalk. She just kept walking, not paying attention to anything around her or where the hell she was going. Finally, when she had no idea where she was, she sat down in front of a huge driveway and cried.

IOIOIO

Alex danced out of the living room and headed toward the open bar. She finally found it in the back of the house, people milling around and shoving each other. Alex pushed her way to the front and yelled to one of the bartenders.

"Can I get a coke and rum?" She asked, nudging some drunk guy out of the way and leaning on the bar.

"You old enough?" The guy asked, looking Alex over.

"No." Alex shrugged. "You still gonna give me my drink?" The bartender chuckled.

"Why not?" He said and Alex flashed him a smile. She managed to grab a bar stool, but had to blow off at least five guys as she sat there. Finally, she got tired of thinking about Marissa and grabbed the nearest guy without a ring and kissed him full-on. He was a little shocked at first, but he got into it pretty soon. After a little while the bartender brought her her coke and rum. Alex smiled and winked at him, taking a long drink. She had just turned back to her make-out partner when her cell phone started ringing. She held up one finger to the guy and walked outside with her phone, aiming toward the garden shed where there seemed to be less throw-up.

"Hello?" She answered.

Marissa sat huddled on the ground, not thinking straight. She was shocked at what Jake had done and tried to do. Then she remembered her cell phone and quickly pulled it out, almost dropping it. She dialed Summer's number with shaky fingers. After a couple of rings Marissa remembered Summer's 'previous engagement' and hung up the phone. She sat there for a minute. _Ryan's out of town, so is Seth and Sandy. Moms gone, god knows where. _She thought, looking at her phone. _I guess I'll call Dr. Roberts. _. . Marissa seriously did not want to do that. _Alex_ Marissa sat for a minute trying to decide whether or not to call her. Things were definitely going to be awkward between them. Then a car roared past and Marissa freaked out. She quickly dialed Alex's number, waiting as it rang three or four times. She almost hung up, but then Alex answered. Marissa could hear a party in the background and froze for a second, not wanting to mess up Alex's night. Not wanting to mess up Alex's life.

"Hello?" Alex asked again. She glanced behind her, as the guy she had been with walked up. She waved her hand at him. "Go away." She mouthed. "Hello?" She asked for the third time. She could hear someone breathing on the other line. "Hel-" She started.

"Hey, Alex?" She heard someone say in thick voice, like they'd been crying. It sounded slightly familiar.

"Marissa?" Alex asked, confused. _Why is she calling me? _Alex thought.

"Yeah, it's Marissa. I just, um, could you- no, I, never mind, it's nothing." Marissa stumbled through her words. She was about to hang up, but Alex stopped her.

"What is it?" Alex asked, concerned at how Marissa was acting. "What's going on?"

"I just." Marissa stumbled through her words then sped up, trying to explain. "I was a this party and Jake tried to- he was trying to- and then I hit him and just ran- and I-" Alex frowned and interrupted her.

"Alright, Marissa, slow down." Alex said softly, hurting for the younger girl. "Look, I'll come get you. Where are you?"

"Um." Marissa said, calming down a little at the sound of Alex's voice. She looked around, trying to find street signs. "The corner of Jackson and Johnson." Marissa read.

"Alright, I'll be there in a second." Alex said, running to her car and pulling out her keys. "Stay where you are."


	6. never be the same

**CHAPTER SIX: never be the same**

Ten minutes later Alex sped up in her Jeep, hopping out quickly, her Vans slapping against the concrete. She looked around.

"Marissa?" She called softly. Alex saw a huddled figure stand up from under a tiny tree. Marissa's face was tear-streaked, her eyes wide. She stood up shaikly. Alex's heart broke for the other girl. She quickly ran over to Marissa and hugged her tightly. "Hey." Alex whispered. "It's gonna be okay." Marissa's body tingled at the feel of Alex's body on hers and she clung on as tight as she could. She managed to choke out a few words.

"I know." Marissa hiccuped, pulling away to look Alex in the face. "I just freaked out and ran." Alex resisted pulling Marissa closer and instead took the brunette's hand and led her to the car, helping her into the passenger seat. Alex went around and got in, putting the keys in the ignition. She slid her hand across the seat and took Marissa's. The younger girl gripped it tightly. They drove for a few minutes without saying anything. Alex looked over at the other girl.

"So, where to you want to go?" Alex asked, letting go of Marissa's hand. "Summer's?" Marissa shook her head.

"No." She said softly. "I don't feel like facing Summer's dad right now." They sat for a while.

"So." Alex ventured. "My place?" Marissa looked over at the other girl, who was staring straight ahead, looking rather awkward. Probably regretting her word choice, but mainly her offer, considering what had happened there only hours ago.

"Okay." Marissa agreed. "Are Alyssa and Kate gonna be there?" Alex shook her head, relaxing a little.

"No, they won't be back till morning." Alex smiled. _Good thing or bad thing? _She wondered. "They like to party."

"Well, hey." Marissa shrugged. "So do we." Alex grinned at the younger girl and Marissa smiled back. Marissa was feeling better. Alex swerved left and pulled into a Wal-Mart parking lot.

"What're you doing?" Marissa asked warily. Alex got out of the car.

"I've got to get some eggs, Alyssa asked me." She answered. " Looking like that, you better wait in the car." Alex said, looking Marissa up and down. Marissa was getting a little turned on by the look and Alex almost couldn't pull her eyes away. Alex forced herself to look away from Marissa. _She just almost got raped by one of her friends and you're checking her out. What is your problem?_ Alex scolded herself and she walked off, leaving Marissa there to think things over.

Marissa sat in Alex's car, which already smelled like Alex, and tried to figure out what the hell she was doing in her crush's car. _I didn't really have a choice. And it's not like either of us has tried anything. Okay, it's not like either of us has tried anything since this afternoon. _Marissa thought to herself. _We've been perfect gentlemen. Or, uh, gentlewomen. _Marissa fiddled with her hands, trying to distract herself. She sighed and looked out the window.

IOIOI

Alex walked into Wal-Mart, running her fingers through her hair. _Good ol Wally-World. _She thought, watching the soccer moms bustle around for the latest bargains. Alex hurried to the milk and eggs section._ What the fuck am I doing? _She asked herself as she pulled out a carton of eggs. _I've got Marissa fucking Cooper sitting in my car and I'm in here getting eggs. _Alex ran her fingers through her hair again. She felt really out of place in the store, with her punk clothes and late-night make-up on. _You're trying to avoid the obvious tension between you two._ Her mind answered. That was true. Ever since the big mistake that was the kiss earlier, Alex couldn't get her mind off the beautiful brunette and it was showing in the way they were acting. Alex shook her head slightly and got in line.

IOIOI

Marissa sat waiting for Alex and started looking around the messy car. Alex had only had it for 2 days, but already it was cluttered and looked, well, like Alex. Marissa shifted some photos on the ground with her foot. They showed Alex with some girl, hugging, laughing, kissing. Marissa sighed. Alex looked like she was having the time of her life. Marissa couldn't ever really be part of that life. What was she thinking, calling Alex? She wasn't Alex's responsibility. Marissa jumped when the door on the driver's side opened. Alex hopped in to see Marissa holding her right arm.

"Are you okay?" Alex asked, putting down the eggs and taking Marissa's arm. Marissa's breath caught at Alex's touch and she had to remind herself to breathe. Not too fast, not too slow, just. . normal. Breathe normal.

"Um yeah." She murmured. "I'm okay, but I think I cut myself." Alex looked down at Marissa's arm and her heart hurt when she saw the nasty scratch that ran from the younger girl's elbow to her shoulder.

"We better get home." Alex said, worried. "You've got a huge goose egg on your forehead too." She almost reached up to touch it, put turned toward the wheel instead. She sped off toward her apartment, trying to ignore the way her body raced whenever she touched Marissa.

IOIOI

Ryan sat down on his bed, He, Seth, and Sandy had just got to their hotel room. Ryan looked over at Seth who was sharing a room with him.

"Should I call Marissa?" Ryan said suddenly. Seth looked up from his comic book.

"Not till tomorrow." Seth advised. "That's when I'm calling Summer." Ryan's hand lingered over the phone._ I'll call her later. _He thought to himself. He laid back on the bed, trying to get rid of the creepy feeling he had.


	7. no one above

yeah. . .this one is rated **NC-17**

**CHAPTER SEVEN: no one above**

Alex unlocked her door and let Marissa in, throwing her keys in a bowl by the door.

"Come in." She said. "Home sweet home." Alex took off her jacket and threw it on a chair.

"Yeah." Marissa said, rasing an eyebrow. "I've seen it before." They both paused for a second remembering what had happened only a few hours ago right where Alex was standing. Alex stepped away and flicked on her stereo.

_**i wanna let you in**_

_**with some poetry we begin**_

_**get loose while the records spin**_

_**i can be your new best friend**_

_**and then**_

_**even more**_

_**we could click**_

Alex walked toward the bathroom.

"Here." She said. "Let's get your cut cleaned." Marissa glanced down at her arm. "It's not that bad." Alex said reassuringly.

_**no games, no lies, no tricks**_

_**no problems we can't fix**_

_**for love, for lust**_

_**or just for kicks**_

They both walked into the bathroom, which was tiny and really cramped. They did a dance trying to find enough personal space, but finally gave up. Marissa sat on the toilet while Alex went through the medicine cabinets. When Alex pulled out the peroxide, Marissa's eyes got wide.

"Don't worry." Alex smiled. "This is just for the little cut on your forehead." Marissa smiled with relief.

"Thank god. You scared me for a second." Marissa said and tried to pull away the sleeve of her shirt, but gasped with pain when it grazed her shoulder. Alex pulled out scissors to cut it, but Marissa pulled back. "There is no way I'm letting you cut my shirt." She said. Alex shrugged.

"Well what else are we going to do?" She asked. Marissa scooted back a little and pulled the shirt off. Alex raised her eyebrows. "Are you sure you want to do that?" She asked, desperately trying to keep her eyes on Marissa's face. Marissa shrugged.

"What else are we going to do?" She echoed the blonde's words. Marissa was enjoying seeing the other girl squirm. Then Alex leaned over and softly touched the younger girl's arm and it was Marissa's turn to squirm. She held back a sigh, but barely.

_**i like the way you touch me**_

_**in places**_

_**i heat up and my heart races**_

_**deeper i'm falling in love**_

_**i go crazy cuz you want me**_

_**no questions**_

Alex grinned where Marissa couldn't see her, loving the way Marissa's hairs stood up when Alex touched her. Even though Alex was just as slightly uncomfortable, awkward, and turned on as Marissa was. Except the blood was pretty nasty. Alex quickly patched up Marissa's arm.

"It was only a little cut, lotta blood." Alex whispered, brushing Marissa's hair out of her face.

"Good." Marissa whispered back. Alex leaned forward to look at the little cut on Marissa's head, her breath on Marissa's cheek. Marissa sucked in air, her face inches from Alex's chest. And her smell.

"Let me get this cut." Alex said, then straddled Marissa to get a better view of the cut. Marissa sat there for a minute, her blood racing. Then, Alex almost lost her balance and fell into the bathtub so Marissa put her hands on Alex's waist. It was Alex's turn to try and concentrate. Alex was almost sitting on Marissa's lap, one hand in Marissa's hair, the other on the side of her face_. I wonder what Ryan would think if he could see us right now. _Alex thought, then chuckled quietly.

"What?" Marissa asked, unconsciously tightening her grip on Alex's waist and pulling her closer. Alex smiled down at her.

_**whisper a secret confession**_

_**it's you**_

_**there's no one above**_

"Nothing." She said. She put a band-aid on the brunette's forehead and pulled back to look in Marissa's eyes.

"There." She said and the two girls sat there for a second staring into each other's eyes. Then, suddenly and impulsively Alex leaned forward and kissed Marissa. Marissa didn't move, didn't do anything at all, and Alex pulled back a little. But then Marissa pulled Alex down onto her and returned the kiss. They stopped for a minute when air became an issue.

"This is wrong." Marissa gasped quickly. Alex kissed her neck, almost causally.

"So wrong it's right?" Alex said, standing up and pulling Marissa with her.

_**whatever it takes**_

_**I'll bend the rule book till it breaks**_

_**I'll be true love**_

_**look**_

_**no mistakes**_

_**I'll get with you as long as it makes sense**_

They managed to stumble into Alex's bedroom before Alex lost her shirt, literally, of course. Marissa didn't have that problem. Alex pushed the younger girl onto the bed and crawled on top of her. Kissing her way down Marissa's neck, Alex stopped to look up at Marissa.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Alex asked, looking at Marissa with bedroom eyes. Marissa nodded, breathing heavily.

"Ye- yes." She managed to say. Alex leaned back down and returned to making Marissa lose her mind. She kissed Marissa softly on the lips, making the kiss more heated when ran her tongue over the brunette's lips. Marissa opened her mouth to let Alex in and they played tongue hockey for a few seconds before Alex reached behind Marissa to pull off Marissa's bra. She ran her tongue in between Marissa's breasts and traced lazy circles around them, every so often teasing Marissa by bringing her tongue up to flick Marissa's nipple. Marissa moaned softly and ran her fingers through Alex's blonde hair.

_**with patience**_

_**I know**_

_**any way your wind will blow**_

_**two heartbeats and one glow**_

_**ready, set, go**_

"Damn, Alex." Marissa moaned. _Ryan isn't half as good as this. _Marissa thought guiltily, but quickly forgot about that thought. Alex tasted her way down Marissa's stomach and unbuttoned Marissa's jeans, pulling them off, and then parted her legs and kissed the inside of Marissa's thigh. Alex licked the inside of Marissa's leg again, kissing the tiniest freckle there.

"You taste really good." Alex whispered huskily, then darted her tongue onto the edge of Marissa's panties. Marissa almost screamed as brief, delicious pleasure raced through her. Alex looked up at Marissa and grinned wickedly. She leaned back down and Marissa held her breath.

Ryan lay in his bed worried sick about Marissa for some unexplainable reason. Finally, he couldn't take it anymore and he rolled out of bed and picked up the phone. He quickly picked it up and dialed Marissa's number. She didn't answer the first time and he only got her voice mail. He redialed and on the fifth ring. . .

Marissa closed her eyes, but nothing happened. She slowly forced them open and looked down at Alex who was staring at Marissa's jeans.

"What?" Marissa asked huskily, trying to focus. "Looking for a condom?" Alex looked back at her and had to smile.

"Hardy har har." Alex said and then pointed at Marissa's jeans. "Your phone's ringing."

"So?" Marissa asked. _All I can think about is you and your fucking tongue. _She thought.

"You should probably answer it, could be Ry-uh, important." Marissa sighed, trying to clear her head. She tried to stop thinking about the half-naked girl sitting across from her and the way that particular girl was making her heart race, but it wasn't really working. Okay, it wasn't working in the least bit. Marissa sat up slowly.

"Alright." Marissa said. Things were a little awkward between the two girls now. Marissa grabbed the cover off the bed and wrapped it around her. Alex handed her the phone and their hands brushed for smallest of moments.

_**i like the way you touch me in places**_

_**i heat up and my heart races**_

_**deeper i'm falling in love **_

_**i go crazy cuz you want me**_

_**no questions**_

_**whisper a secret confession**_

_**it's you, their's no one above**_

"Hello?" Marissa answered, your voice soft.

Ryan sighed with relief when he heard Marissa's voice.

"Hey sweetheart." He said, falling back on his hotel bed. Then another thought struck him. What if Marissa was with another guy? "Where are you?" Ryan asked, trying to be causal.

"A party." Marissa answered, putting on that fake voice she always used with Ryan. "I was just thinking about you."

"You were what?" Alex whispered, her eyebrows raised, and Marissa tried not to laugh.

"Who was that?" Ryan asked, sounding suspicious.

"Um.." Marissa said then decided to tell the truth. "It's Alex." Alex glared at her and Marissa just shrugged.

"Can I talk to her?" Ryan asked.

"Sure." Marissa said and handed the phone to Alex. "It's Ryan." Alex rolled her eyes.

"Hey Atwood." Alex said easily. "What's up?" She laid back on the bed. Marissa looked at her. Marissa could just barely see up Alex's skirt. She got a very bad idea.

"What're you doing?" Ryan asked, sounding suspicious_Well, he should be._ Alex thought.

"Fucking your girlfriend." Alex answered in a sarcastic voice. Marissa gave her a look.

"I really hope your joking." Ryan said tightly. _I'm not. _Alex thought and then laughed.

"Don't worry so much Atwood." Alex said, lying back on some pillows. She never actually admitted that she wasn't fucking Marissa, but to tell the truth she wasn't. For the first time in Alex's life it felt more like making love. Alex glanced up at Marissa, who dropped the covers she was holding and crawled on top of Alex. _What are you doing?_ Alex mouthed. Marissa just smiled.

_**come on take a chance**_

_**feel free to let your spirit dance**_

_**spark, fire, flame, **_

_**romance**_

_**it's a brand new circumstance to enhance who you are**_

"We're just going to a party." Alex lied as Marissa leaned over her. Alex raised her eyebrows, daring Marissa.

"Who's party?" Ryan asked, sounding a little pissed.

"Live a little Atwood." Alex said, running her fingers through Marissa's hair.

"Who's party?" Ryan demanded. Marissa leaned over and kissed Alex and then the tip of Alex's ear. Alex held back a sigh.

"I'm sorry Ryan, I've gotta go to this party that we're at." Alex said, pulling Marissa closer by putting her hand on her chin and kissing her.

"Who's par-", Ryan started again, but Alex closed the phone and looked Marissa in the eyes. Marissa raised an eyebrow and Alex rolled her over, kissed her fiercely and then kissed her way down Marissa's body, slowly making her way down. She finally, finally, returned to between Marissa's legs. She pulled her panties down, far too slowly for Marissa who kicked them down with her feet. Slowly, Alex ran her tongue over the other girl's swollen clit and Marissa bucked her hips, wanting more touch, more feel. Alex pulled back, teasing Marissa by sliding her tongue over the other girl's clit, until Marissa was about to come from only that slight touch and the bucking of her own hips.

Then Alex slipped her tongue into Marissa and moved in and out quicker and quicker. Marissa was building, so so close she could feel it. Her fingers twisted in the sheets, her back aching from her bucking. Her body not her's anymore, completley in Alex's control.Then Alex pulled her tongue out and just as quickly slipped three fingers into Marissa and leaned over the brunette to kiss her on her neck and shoulders as her fingers quickened in pace, frantically bringing Marissa closer and closer, in and out in and out, until she exploded, crying at Alex's name loudly, her voice breaking from pleasure in the midst of her cries. Alex licked her shoulderblade the other girl collapsing on the bed, her body released.

_**no bruises, **_

_**no cuts,**_

_**no scars,**_

_**it's painless**_

_**no broken hearts**_

_**come on **_

_**trust me baby!**_


	8. high

**CHAPTER EIGHT: high**

Alex stretched out on the bed, yawning. She sat up, vaguely aware that something big had just happened, but clueless as to what it was. She glanced over at the alarm clock to the right of her. 2:37. Alex yawned again and then glanced to the left of her. She blinked twice and stared at the girl lying next to her. _Marissa Cooper._ She thought, recognizing then girl and then the events of last night came rushing back at her. Alex smiled softly as she watched the other girl sleep. She leaned back on her elbow and brushed the brunette's hair out of her face_.'She looks so peaceful when she's sleeping. _Alex thought._ Most people do._ The cynic in her mind reminded her. Alex sighed, struggling with the feelings she was having for the other girl. She rolled out of bed and trudged into the bathroom to take a hot shower.

Marissa woke up to the smell of pizza. _Pizza? _She thought and slowly opened her eyes. She looked around the Alex's room and smiled to herself when she remembered the events of last night. Then, she stretched and got out of bed. She stood up and almost walked out of the door when she realized she wasn't wearing any clothes. Marissa blushed a little and grabbed a sheet.

Alex looked up from cutting the pizza she'd just cooked, when she heard someone walk into the room. When she saw Marissa walk in wrapped up in an almost see-through sheet, Alex grinned.

"Hey babe." Alex said, using the endearment easily. Marissa grinned back.

"Oh, so I'm babe now?" Marissa asked, as she bit her lip and smiled crookedly.

"After sex like that, yeah." Alex said raising an eyebrow and going back to cutting her pizza.

"I think it's sex, plural." Marissa said walking toward the bar. Alex looked up again and grinned.

"Mm-hmm." Alex agreed. "You must be exhausted." Marissa grinned wickedly while Alex pulled out two plates.

"Not really." Marissa said, Alex laughed.

"So I'm that bad?" Alex asked.

"You're that good." Marissa said and leaned over to kiss Alex. Alex kissed her back then handed her a plate.

"Pizza?" She offered. Marissa looked doubtful. "And old horror movies?" Alex tried again. Marissa smiled agreement and grabbed a piece of pizza while Alex flopped on the couch. When Marissa went to sit down she instinctively went to a chair. Alex looked up at her.

"We've just fucked." Alex said, ignoring the temptation to say 'made love' instead. The words came out softly anyway. "I think we can lay down together." Marissa laid down next to Alex and Alex put her arm around her. Marissa marveled at how they seemed to fit together. They relaxed and Alex pushed play.


	9. the beauty of who you are

**CHAPTER NINE: the beauty of who you are **

_**there's a soft sweet space on the back of your neck**_

_**smells like rain**_

_**there's a way you look at me baby**_

_**heals my pain**_

Marissa yawned and glanced over at Alex who was sleeping soundly next to her. She smiled gently, but a little guiltily. _How come waking up next to Ryan never feels like this? _She wondered to herself. She lay there, just watching Alex sleep. Marissa softly stroked the older girl's face. Then someone knocked loudly on the door and Marissa flicked her eyes in that direction. She was only wearing a sheet and underwear. She hopped up and started to pull on some pajama pants and a tank that were lying by the bed. When she turned around Alex was watching her from the bed, sleepily grinning.

"What?" Marissa asked crossly, one leg in, one leg out of the pajama pants. Alex shrugged.

"It's just Alyssa." She said. "Hold on." Alex called to the person on the other side of the door.

"Alright, but we're home and we want breakfast. It's your turn." Alyssa called back and they could hear her walk away.

"Alright." Alex called after her, and then smiled at Marissa. She crawled out of bed and took Marissa in her arms.

_**I've studied every inch of your body**_

_**baby what's on your mind?**_

_**The touch of your skin**_

_**just pulls me in**_

_**every single time**_

"Are you going to make me breakfast?" Marissa asked, her hands on the back of Alex's neck. Alex thought about it, remembering the similar conversation she had had a few days ago.

"Yeah." She said softly. "I am." They looked into each other's eyes. Blue into sea-green. Alex leaned her forehead against Marissa's and smiled.

_**there's a silent conversation**_

_**filled with hidden revelations**_

_**in your eyes**_

Alex and Marissa sat at the bar in the kitchen with Kate and Alyssa, laughing. Every now and then they would touch each other's arms intimately, almost unnoticing. Alyssa and Kate exchanged knowing glances, but Alex and Marissa didn't notice. Of course, they didn't notice much of anything besides each other.

_**baby i'm so into you **_

_**every whisper from your soul to my heart**_

_**baby i know it's true **_

Marissa took Alex's hand and helped her up the tiny stairs carved into the stone wall.

"Where are we going?" Alex asked again, laughing, because she had no clue what was going on. She stumbled a bit and Marissa chuckled, quickly grabbing her arm and keeping her up.

"Shh-" Marissa said, pulling her into the huge cove. Marissa pulled off Alex's blindfold with flourish. "Here you go." She said, her hand still gripping Alex's. Alex looked around the huge cavern that looked out onto the gorgeous water. Alex turned to Marissa and smiled, taking both of Marissa's hand in hers.

"It's wonderful." Alex said, and turned to walk down more steps, almost unconsciously entwining her hand with Marissa's. "What's down here?"

"My paintings." Marisa answered, just a little shyly. No one had ever seen them before.

"Can I see?" Alex asked.

"Sure." Marissa answered and pulled Alex down the stairs.

"Do you wanna be a painter?" Alex asked as they walked down the stairs.

"Yeah, what about you?" Marissa asked.

"A music producer." Alex answered. The two girls smiled at each other, blissfully oblivious.

_**you're a sweet little mystery sent to me from the stars**_

_**and that's the beauty of who you are**_

_**there's a faith you're saving for a rainy day**_

_**i could use right now**_

Alex grabbed Marissa's hand and pulled her onto the dance floor. Marissa laughed and gladly went with her. Two guys came on either side of them and they laughed together, dancing wildly. Alex and Marissa stayed together, pushing away the guys who tried to come between them. Both of them were slightly drunk and estactically happy. They snuck outside. While they stood kissing under the fire escape, an old homeless man walked by mumbling. When he saw them his eyes grew wide and he stopped where he was, staring. Alex threw twenty bucks at him and the two girls ran off laughing, hands entwined. They were too involved with each other to even recognize the rest of the world.

As they walked down the street, hand in hand, Marissa glanced up to see a very familiar face coming toward them. Jake Rivers, the guy who had. . .She couldn't think about it. She pulled Alex into an alley with her. Alex frowned.

"What's up?" She asked. Marissa took a shaky breath.

"That's, that's Jake, the guy who. . .he tried to. . " She couldn't say it. Alex looked her in the eyes and then glanced to the street. Jake was standing in the street, talking to someone. Alex took a step forward, away from Marissa and toward the street and the younger girl could tell Alex wanted to go out there and kill the the guy. Marissa gave her a reassuring smile and intertwined her fingers with Alex's.

"It's okay." Marissa said. "I'm okay, with you."

_**there's a way you move my soul to sing**_

_**only you know how**_

_**you are sensual salvation**_

_**you're the holiest temptation**_

Alex lay on the sand, her hand entwined in Marissa's, watching the sunset. She sighed happily and looked over at the younger girl, who was smiling softly. Alex glanced down at her left middle finger and Marissa moved her left hand next to Alex's. They both had identical, simple, black butterflies right there. Alex touched her finger to Marissa's and then kissed her softly.

"I love you Marissa." Alex said softly, right in Marissa's ear. Marissa sat up and put one arm on the side of Alex. She looked down at Alex, her brown hair forming a curtain around the two girls.

"I love you Alex." She said, then leaned down and kissed the other girl. Alex grinned and ran her fingers through Marissa's hair.

_**Baby I'm never**_

_**never**_

_**never**_

_**gonna be the same**_

Alex sat up in bed and looked over at Marissa who was lying next to her, wide awake.

"Ryan's coming back today, at one." Alex said, trying not to put too much emotion, good or bad, into it. Marissa looked up. She knew that. "What's gonna happen to us Riss?" Alex asked. Marissa shrugged.

"I don't know." Marissa said, "I guess we'll find out in a few hours." Then she smiled. "But in the mean time. . ." She let the invitation hang. Alex leaned over and kissed her hungrily.

_**baby i'm so into you**_

_**every whisper from your soul to my heart**_

_**baby i know it's true**_

_**you're a sweet little mystery**_

_**sent to me from the stars**_

_**and that's the beauty of who you are**_

Alex pulled into a parking spot at the airport. She and Marissa were going to pick Ryan up. Alex had proposed that they just leave him there and run off to Bermuda together, but Marissa had just laughed. The thing was, Alex hadn't been joking. Marissa reached over and squeezed Alex's hand comfortingly, but it was only a temporary relief. The two girls hopped out of the car and walked into the airport. Alex had no idea what to expect or what Marissa would do.

_**i can't explain it**_

_**or begin to conceive**_

_**all I know is that**_

_**you make me believe**_


	10. come right out and say it

**ok, i rewrote this chapter like five times so if it sucks, im sorry. it took forever to get it to even say what i wanted it to say.**

**CHAPTER TEN: come right out and say it**

They stood waiting at the gate. Marissa kept standing on her toes to look for the Cohens. Alex looked a little uncomfortable, plus she had to keep her hand over a hickey on her neck that Marissa had given her a couple hours ago. Then, Ryan came out of the plane. When he caught sight of Marissa he grinned and picked her up in a hug, then kissed her on the lips. Alex watched causally, barely hiding her disgust. Marissa kissed Ryan back, but his lips were forceful, not soft and welcoming, like Alex's. She almost pulled away, but stopped herself. The only thing she could stand about him was his promise of familiarity, not the crazy, exhilarating life she had been living with Alex._ It's true. _Marissa admitted to herself. _I'm afraid of change. _Then Ryan put her down and she fake smiled at him. He turned to Alex and Marissa breathed a sigh of relief.

"Hey Atwood." Alex grinned and hugged Ryan. He just kind of glared at her.

"What was with the phone thing?" He asked, a little angry. Alex shrugged.

"We had a party to go to." She said. Ryan shrugged and let it go. He slid an arm around Marissa and smiled at her lovingly. Alex just stood there, awkward times ten, and also the hand covering her hickey was starting to ache. Finally, Alex took her hand down, revealing her, um, love spot. Ryan looked at it with suspicion, but Alex just smiled.

"Heh, heh." She fake laughed. "You know me." Ryan rolled his eyes and kept his arm draped over Marissa's shoulders as they waited for Sandy and Seth. When the two guys got there, the five of them stood uncomfortably. Alex could tell she was the source of all the stress. She smiled a little sadly and looked at Marissa with an unreadable look on her face. Marissa refused to look at Alex. Alex finally sighed and sort of half-waved.

"Talk to you later." She said and turned to leave, pretty much giving up on Marissa. Marissa could almost feel the tension leave the group as Alex walked off. She watched Alex walk off and, on impulse, ran after her. Marissa put her hand on Alex's arm, but Alex ignored her.

"Alex." Marissa pleaded. "Please." Alex finally looked back at Marissa.

"Hey." Alex said, her eyes unreadable, but definitely sad. "Uh, I guess we're done." It wasn't a question. Alex tried to compose herself and it worked, a little.

"No, it's just. . ." Marissa trailed off and Alex picked up.

"Look, you and Ryan. . . it's like Clark and Lois, or Padme and Anakin or Han and Leia, you're destined to be together no matter what horrible things come along." Marissa grinned.

"Nice Star Wars analogy there." She commented and Alex couldn't help but smile back.

"Thank you." Alex's smile quickly faded though. "There's no other person for either of you. So I'm just gonna go and settle for being a distant memory in your mind. All right? I know you're trying to pull away from Ryan, but its not going to work. So I'll pull away from you and save you the trouble. I'll see you, Riss." Alex gave her a sad smile and turned and left. Marissa quickly grabbed her arm again.

"No, Alex. . . I just. . . its Ryan, you know? I don't really know what I want." Marissa tried to explain. Alex looked her in the eye.

"Well, figure it out and get back to me." Alex said and left.

IOIOI

Alex lay on the couch in her apartment, throwing a ball up in the air and catching it. She was trying to figure out what to do about Marissa. _I've got to get over her. _She thought. _It's not like I'm really in love with her. . . or anything._ Alex sat up and put her head in her hands. _I mean, I thought I loved her, but now everything is fucked up._ Alex looked up when someone knocked on her door.

"Come in." She called, pretty sure of who it was.

IOIOI

Marissa sat in her car in front of Alex's apartment. She ran her fingers through her hair, trying to get everything in her mind straight. _I've got to tell Alex that I can't leave Ryan. That he's just… Ryan and I can't leave him_. Marissa thought back to earlier, when she had gone home with Ryan. Everything had been so freaking boring. So. . .normal. Marissa sighed and got out of the car. She walked up the stairs and knocked on the door.

"Come in." Marissa heard Alex call. She walked in. The two girls stood for a moment, looking at each other. Then, Marissa walked toward Alex and wrapped her arms around her. Alex put her arms around her shoulders, not able to turn her away.

"I won't let you go." Marissa whispered softly, tears forming in her eyes, betraying her feelings. Alex didn't say anything_. Yeah you will. _She thought, but she only held the other girl. After a few minutes she pulled back.

"We need to talk." She said. "We should have talked about this before. . .they came back, but we didn't, so we need to talk about this now." Marissa looked back at her.

"Yeah, we do." Marissa agreed softly. They looked at each other.

"So." Alex started.

"So." Marissa echoed. Everything was awkward again, as if everything that had happened between them hadn't happened.

"What's gonna happen between us, now that Ryan's back?" Alex thought out loud. Marissa looked away, out the window.

"I can't cheat on him and I can't leave him, Alex." Marissa slipped back into their familiarity. She sat down on the couch. "I can't be with you." Marissa said, trying to lay it out as well as she could. Alex looked away as well, silent, for once.

"Just like that?" Alex finally said, looking back at the brunette.

"It's not like we ever really had a relationship in the first place." Marissa said. Alex's eyes turned cold.

"No." She said icily. "We just had sex and went out together all the time." Alex stood up angrily, frustrated. Marissa stayed seated, looking up at Alex.

"Well it's true." Marissa said, waving her hands. "It's not like we could ever be together for real." Alex glared, more shocked at what the younger girl was saying, than actually angry.

"Do you really believe that?" Alex asked Marissa. Marissa sat there for a minute.

"Yeah." She answered, lying, but not really realizing it. "I really believe that."

"Then you're right, we couldn't be in a relationship." Alex said, turning around.

"It's not like you wanted one!" Marissa raised her voice.

"How," Alex said loudly, "Would you know what I wanted? All you cared about was Ryan and his feelings."

"Don't forget about the sex." Marissa said with sarcasm.

"Is that all I was? A good fuck?" Alex said angrily.

"What do you think Alex?" Marissa answered with a question. "Why does this have to be so hard?"

"Maybe I thought we were something more. Maybe I thought I was really in love with you! And maybe I believed you when you told me you loved me too." Alex said, deathly calm as she said the last sentence. Marissa sat, frozen in her spot, words she had tried to forget, just thrown in her face. "Whatever." Alex said, waving her hand and walking out the door, leaving Marissa alone with only her thoughts.


	11. come back to bed

**CHAPTER ELEVEN: come back to bed**

Marissa sat in Alex's apartment, sitting on Alex's couch, looking at Alex's things and thinking of Ryan.

Alex drove in her car, speeding to god knows where, trying to escape her problems. She saw a bus station and swerved in.

Marissa walked into Alex's room and let the tears she'd been holding in fall freely. She looked around the room. It was so Alex and so empty.

_**still is the life**_

_**of your room**_

_**when you're not inside**_

_**and all of your things**_

_**tell the sweetest storyline**_

Alex thanked the lady in the ticket booth and took her ticket from her. A one-way back to Reno. _Home. _Alex thought.

Marissa laid on Alex's bed, holding onto a pillow, trying to figure out how the hell she had said what she'd said.

_**your tears on the sheets**_

_**and your footsteps are down the hall**_

_**tell me what I did**_

_**I can't find where the moment went wrong at all**_

Marissa slowly sat up, tears running down her face, but she couldn't find the strength or want to leave. She wanted to hold on to those last happy memories.

Alex got back in her car, hoping that Marissa would be out of her apartment by the time she got there. She sighed slowly, then put her forehead on the steering wheel and cried.

_**you can be mad in the morning**_

_**i'll take back what i said **_

_**just don't leave me, alone here**_

_**it's cold baby**_

Marissa got up and out of Alex's room and apartment in a daze. Her heart hurt and she was so tired. Tired of dealing with Ryan, tired of giving up the things she loved so that she wouldn't have to hurt. But all she did was hurt, so apparently that wasn't working.

Alex sucked in a breath, trying to recover, but failing badly. She rested her head on the steering wheel again and just, gave up.

_**come back to bed**_

_**what will this fix?**_

_**you know you're not a quick forgive**_

Marissa found herself driving blindly toward her cove. She pulled into the tiny parking space she'd made, spraying sand everywhere. She slowly got out and numbly made her way down the stairs and into the cavern. As she walked up another flight of stairs she traced the walls with her fingers, remembering the day she and Alex had spent there.

_**and I wont sleep through this**_

_**I survive on the breath**_

_**you are finished with**_

Alex finally stopped crying and managed to sit up. She glanced out the dark window to find an old man standing by the door. Alex almost laughed at the oddness of it. Almost.

"Yeah?" She asked, rolling down her window and wiping away the last of her tears.

"Heartbreak doll?" The old man asked and this time Alex really did laugh.

"Yep." She said, playing along. "How'd you know?" The old man smiled bittersweet.

"Hold onto your best moments." He advised. Alex shook her head as he walked off, then rolled up her window again. She drove off into the night, smiling and crying.

_**you can be mad in the morning**_

_**i'll take back what i said**_

_**just don't leave me alone here**_

_**it's cold baby**_

Marissa sat down at her easel and looked at the painting she had been doing of Alex. Alex was smiling slightly and gazing off into the ocean, wrapped in her own thoughts. Marissa felt another tear slip down her cheek. '_Just when I thought I couldn't cry anymore.' _She thought. She wiped it away quickly.

_**come back to bed**_

_**you can be mad in the morning**_

_**or the afternoon instead**_

_**but don't leave me**_

Alex walked into her apartment and dropped her keys into the bowl along with Kate's and Alyssa's. "I'm home!" She called, wiping away the last trace of tears and checking her face in the hall mirror.

"Hey!" She heard Kate call back. "We're in here!" Alex walked in to find Kate and Alyssa playing Twister.

"Oh my god." Alex said covering her eyes. "Let's pretend like I never saw that." She walked out toward her room.

"Pizza's on the table!" Alyssa called, but Alex was already in her room. Alex looked around and noticed her pillow was on the floor and her covers were mussed. '_Marissa.' _She thought and she felt a wave of sadness come over her. She turned around and slowly closed the door. Alex walked over to her bed and sat down.

_**98 and 6 degrees of separation from you baby**_

_**come back to bed**_

_**don't hold your love over my head**_

Marissa looked at the wall, where Alex, with all her Reno skills, had grafitied 'ALEX AND MARISSA'. Marissa ran her fingers over the jumbled letters_. I'll talk to her tomorrow. _Marissa thought and turned toward the stairs.

_**come back to bed**_


	12. breathe

**CHAPTER TWELVE: breathe**

Alex's bus left at twelve o'clock and it was already eleven thirty. Of course, Marissa didn't know this, so she took her own sweet time. When Alex was getting into her car, waving goodbye to Alyssa and Kate, Marissa was going outside, lying to Summer about gas and ice cream. They drove right past each other, so intent on getting where they were going, that they didn't even notice. Marissa's mind was on other things. She would know what to say to Alex this time, she would tell the truth. She could feel Alex slipping away and didn't know how to stop it.

_**i played the fool today**_

_**and i can see us vanishing **_

_**into the crowd**_

Alex drove slowly, taking her last views of Newport. But everything seemed to remind her of Marissa. Finally, when a fire hydrant had her thinking of Marissa's nose, Alex sped up. She was going home, she told herself. '_But home is with Marissa', _her traitorous heart told her. Alex only went faster.

_**longing for home again **_

_**but home **_

_**is a feeling i buried in you**_

_**that i buried in you**_

Marissa pulled up next to Alex's apartment and took a deep breath, trying to ease the ache in her chest for Alex. She got out and walked up to the door. Marissa had only just knocked when Kate opened the door.

"You just missed her", Kate said, a little sadly.

"Going where?", Marissa asked, wanting to follow Alex. Kate frowned.

"Didn't she tell you? She's going back to Reno." Marissa felt her heart stop for a second and spun around to go back to her car. "Bus station!" Kate called after her.

_**i'm all right i'm all right**_

_**it only hurts**_

_**when I breathe**_

Alex parked her car in an empty spot. Alyssa and Kate were supposed to drive up the next day and then sell her Jeep, since Alex had another car in Reno. Alex made sure she had everything she needed and got out. She walked toward the doors, her mind racing. She really wanted to turn tail and run. Run back to Marissa and tell her she was sorry. But Alex couldn't do that. Everything was to screwed up now.

_**and i can't ask**_

_**for things to be still again**_

_**i can't ask for you**_

_**to offer the world in your eyes**_

Marissa sped through traffic, trying to as fast as she could to get to Alex. She didn't want to think about what would happen if she was to late. If Alex was gone and there was nothing Marissa could do to get her back.

_**longing for home again**_

_**but home**_

_**is a feeling i buried in you**_

Alex gave the lady her ticket and watched her punch a neat hole in it.

"Through gate 3", the lady said, monotone. Alex nodded and walked through the gate and onto the bus. She glanced back and gave a silent goodbye to Newport.

_**i'm all right i'm all right**_

_**it only hurts **_

_**when i breathe**_

Marissa swerved into the parking lot and into an empty spot. She jumped out, racing to get to Alex before she left. Marissa glanced up at the board. Newport to Reno Now Leaving Gate 3 it read. Marissa ran to gate three, trying to reach the one person who made sense to her.

_**my window through which nothing hides**_

_**and everything sings**_

Alex watched the tourist beaches of Newport fly by. She tried to push Marissa from her mind, but the other girl lingered there, dwelling in every single thought. Alex sighed softly. '_These rides always take forever.'_ She thought.

_**counting the signs**_

_**and cursing the miles in between**_

When Marissa finally reached gate 3, the bus had already left. She stood there for a second, trying to convince herself that it was one big joke, a nightmare. It wasn't, of course, she knew that. She knew it because it there was the bus, speeding away with the one thing she might havereally wanted. She took a deep breath and on a bus a couple miles away, Alex did the same. Neither girl could force the other out of their mind or the ache off their chest.

_**i'm all right i'm all right**_

_**it only hurts **_

_**when I breathe**_

**THE END.**


End file.
